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Title: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie
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If “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” is considered family entertainment, then I think families should just stay home. When I was a kid, pirates were fun. Sure a real pirate would loot, kill, and pillage, but they were still the coolest things around. They are so good, that a throw away gag in the hit children’s cartoon “Veggie Tales” took off and became one of the shows hallmark segment. The segment has now been expanded into a theatrical feature called “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie.” And unlike Disney’s pirate film, this one is much more family friendly, though I question if that makes it more entertaining. Chances are even if your aren’t a toddler, you’ve found many things to like about the three pirate leads, played by Larry the Cucumber, Mr. Lunt, and Pa Grape.
All three characters are back in top form (of sorts), as a trio of loser cabin boys who are transported to “Somewhere In The 17th Century,” and mistaken for heroes who will help a princess save her brother from the clutches of her evil uncle Robert. Though the story is (predictably) predictable, it does have moments of cleverness, which should come as no surprise to fans of the show. When asked if they are real pirates, Larry responds “well, we’re known at home as The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything,” to which the questioner responds with a sarcastic whip “how comforting.” It’s easily humor, yet it also works. Other scenes that will resonate with older audiences are references to “The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treder,” “Galaxy Quest,” and the always reliable stable of “Wizard of Oz” jokes.
Though the movie is sweet, innocent, and completely safe, it tends to get very boring and preachy halfway through. I don’t think this is the producers fault, just more of the reality that “Veggie Tales” tends to work best as a short subject. To fill in the space needed for a feature length film, the movie has several musical numbers, a set-up that is painfully slow, and a climax that ends two times too many. Not to mention, the obvious lession of standing up for yourself. In a twenty minute show you can understand why it needs to be preachy, but to learn this lesson over eighty minutes makes the lesson more tedious then anything, though I suspect many of the kids who end up seeing this won’t care either way.
The animation is also shockingly low budget and unimpressive, with massive amounts of water and sand that just sit their, while poorly animated veggie’s jump around on the screen. The first movie wasn’t great looking, but a minor upgrade in the animation was noticable. This looks like an hour long TV special that was expanded on at the last minute. If this is going to be in the theaters, then there has to be a good reason to go out of your way to see it. As it stands, it’s light, humorous fluff, but in no way can it stand up to anything else. Maybe that explains Universal’s decision to release this in January, where competition is thin. Still, I can’t quite recommend it. It’s cute for kids, but it loses the appeal that the show has for teens and adults, and the story isn’t even that great to begin with. While I hope we get more “Veggie Tales” movies in the future, I hope they feel more fresh then this.
- -Review By Kevin T. Rodriguez- -