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Title: Twilight
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| CONSUMER ADVICE |
Parents, there is some mild language and violence. Nothing explicit, but the story is too mature for most kids. Recommended for ages 14 and up. |
“Twilight” is a surprising film in some ways. It was based off a best-selling book by Stephanie Meyers and is very popular with teenagers (most notably girls). That fact alone may be enough to discredit my review of the film, but forward I go with it because I don’t believe in “chick flicks” and “guy flicks,” only “good flicks” and “bad flicks.” The film version is a big summer release directed by Catherine Hardwicke, who directed another popular teenage movie “Thirteen.” The fact that a female director is helming such an important franchise is also impressive, though I note with dismay that her characters in her previous film were more realistic and honest (and would eat the characters in this movie for breakfast). The final thing that makes this film surprising is that most high profile movies are marketed towards teenage boys.
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In this case teenage girls have their “Star Wars,” which kind of makes me happy in some way. It also sort of depresses me because for all the talk I get from my feminist friends about how they as women should be treated better then immature boys, their deep love for this franchise (or at least this movie) doesn’t strengthen their argument. In fact, their upmost love for this movie actually does the opposite: It undermines it. Now before I get e-mail from you lovely female readers for my sort of general view on your sex keep in mind I’m reviewing a movie. I’m not trying to make a political statement and in most cases - yes - women are just as good at what they do in life as men, and it’s a shame some women still run across sexism in today’s day and age.
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But if you’re going to harp on the dump entertainment that young boys make successful you can’t turn around and make something this insipid just as successful as the (much better) Harry Potter movies. “Twilight” stars a girl named Isabella “Bella” Swan (Kristen Stewart), a 17-year old girl who moves to some obscure place in Phoenix, Arizona. She lives with her divorced dad and has trouble making friends. So far pretty typical set-up for a teenage drama, but nothing offensive either. The story takes an interesting twist when she befriends Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), one of the oldest sons in the Cullen family. This family, we are told, live a very secluded life. Judging from their reaction to Edward befriending someone outside the family I’d say this is an accurate description.
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Now the twist isn’t the befriending per say, but the revelation that Edward’s family are vampires and so is he. They’ve lived for many centuries and can not die. They glitter when light touches them so they limit their daytime activities. At this point my attention was caught. Having not read the books I knew of Edwards secret, but I was curious to how Bella would react to such news. The answer: Not very interested. Though Bella is shocked to discover he is a vampire the subject of what vampires do and (more importantly) what they feel[italiazed] isn’t brought up much. There are lots of conversations of these two characters who want each other but moan that they probably shouldn’t be together.
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They sound like teenagers who want to have sex but are unsure how to actually go about doing it. I kept listening to the conversations and being disappointing that more meaningful stuff wasn’t being talked about. What does Edward feel about being immortal? Is it lonely? What has he seen? Why does he love her? For that matter, if this vampires is supposed to be hundreds of years old why does he relate to Bella on her level. There is a WIDE gulf between 17 and 700 hundred something-or-other! The movie picks up a little near the end when an antagonist is unveiled, but at this point I didn’t care as much. With such a low budget the special effects look like something you’d find off “Smallville.”
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Don’t get me wrong: I love “Smallville.” But that’s a TV show. It has a reason for having lesser special effects. This is a major motion picture. It should look better. Not to mention when the bad guy gets introduced in the story the movie because a standard action movie with chase scene and showdown near the end. Not unlike a superhero movie which, I want to remind my female readers, is the sort of movie “Twilight” readers constantly complain are “beneath them.” “Twilight” is fairly inoffensive but it’s not very good. The screenplay is pretty weak, the acting is no better then a teenage drama you’d find on the CW, and the special effects are putrid. The whole package is a lame mess. If I had to categorize this movie I’d say it falls under the “bad flick” label.
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