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Title: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
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| CONSUMER ADVICE |
Parents, despite the PG-13 rating the film is extremely violent. Recommended for ages 15 and up. |
Why do directors feel that in order to make a good action sequence they have to edit the hell out of the film to a point where you can’t even see what’s going on? I asked myself this as I watched “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time,” for no less then this movie is made up of pure actions sequences where the main hero Prince Dastan (Academy Award-nominee Jake Gyllenhaal) jumps from rooftop to rooftop, runs across walls, and routinely fights five men at once with a sword in each hand. That this man is considered to be the weakest warrior of three brothers speaks very highly of how well people fight in this movie.
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Which is good because this movie is more interested in swordplay rather then telling a compelling story. Truth be told, the frantic fighting is so prevalent in the film I was having difficulty figuring out who was fighting who and what was going on. The story goes that during a raid on an innocent city Dastan’s father the king is killed. Dastan is believed to be the killer, most likely because he’s not a prince at all. He was a homeless boy living in the gutter that the king took in as one of his own because he saw something in the boy that he believed would make him a potential king one day.
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Most of the characters claim it was his heart, but I’m sure it was just as impressive to see a ten year old jump across a few rooftops as well. Anyway, after being framed for murder Dastan flees the scene of the crime with the princess of the city Tamina (Gemma Arterton). Sometime before this though he get a dagger that can turn back time or...you know what, I’m already lost. It hasn’t even been two hours since I watched this movie and already I’m confused about what I saw. For something that sounds fundamentally simple in the ads this movie sure is a confusing mess. As mentioned before most of the movie is quick cut action sequences.
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The rest of the time is filled with characters who are often boring and mostly annoying. As the lead Dastan is the least offender, but he’s not really a compelling enough character to carry this thing. Princess Tamina is a shrill annoying bitch. There’s no nicer way to say it, she just gets under your skin because she won’t shut up and seems to do nothing but cause the main hero trouble. The fact that she endangers his life no less then three times and he still won’t so much as slap shows that he really is a gentleman. Alfred Molina also shows up as a Persian thief named Sheik Amar, who makes money by hosting ostrich racing matches (whatever).
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To top it all off I’m surprised Disney is releasing this under their family friendly banner. I know “Pirates of the Caribbean” was their first Disney foray into PG-13 territory, but this seems to be stretching things. People are constantly killed, crushed, stabbed, and snakes bite at least two men’s eyes. You know...for kids! I also wonder what women must be thinking of movies this weekend. Not only did they have to put up with the insufferable, stupid, moronic women in “Sex & The City 2,” but now they have to put up with whiney, shrill Princess Tamina. I’m not a woman and even I’M getting offended at this point!
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The director of this film is Mike Newell, who previously directed “Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire.” In that film he showed he understood special effects but also could tell a story, and pulled off the almost impossible task of trimming a 700 page book into less then three hours. Here though he seems out of his league, as if the movie got away from him somehow. This was not a fun movie to watch nor does it look like a fun movie to make. Disney has high hopes that this will become a huge franchise. Maybe it will, but if there is a second one I think audiences will stay away with memories of how much of a headache they got from this one.
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